YOU MAY KNOW THE QUEEN’S ENGLISH, BUT DO YOU UNDERSTAND A BLOOMIN’ WORD OF NATTY’S ENGLISH?
We are often a law unto ourselves here, mangling the spoken word to our own end at whim. Should you, literally (ahem) be lost for words this Natty Lexicon may help you out.
ACE! Jolly good
Hair (rhyming slang: Barnet Fair - Hair)
This can mean anything in the correct context, eg:
Let’s have a BING BONG
We should talk
We’ll have a right old BING BONG tonight
We’re going to get intoxicated this evening
Look at the BING BONGS on that
I’ve seen something that is rather attractive
There was a right old BING BONG on the platform
The was a scuffle at the train station
BING BONG! I say!
BOO-YA! There you go!
BOOM! We’re off!
DO ONE Go away!
FACE FOREST Beard
HAVE A PEEPS
Take a look
A fight or an enjoyably drunken evening
In good order
A tip-top moustache
UPTOWN TOP RANKING
The best of the best
Hello Mr Natty. Good day.
Are you actually called Mr Natty? Sometimes ruffians shout it across the street in Soho. Cheeky blighters. It’s not on my birth certificate.
How did you come to be Natty? Nattiness is a state of mind, made manifest through a man’s actions and general demeanour.
Indeed. But I meant your name... Oh. I just made that up. It just works, don’t you think?
It does. So your real name in day to day parlance is? Matt Raine.
And you’ve invented all these products for chaps... I have. Aren’t they splendid?
They are indeed. What inspired you to do this? I was utterly fed up.
Fed up? Of what? Life? Not life. Just shopping. I love shopping! I was tired of going into shops to buy men’s grooming products that were not very good, were not very inspiring and didn’t really speak to me and give me what I want from a product.
So you came up with a whole new line. That’s quite a task. What else are you going to do in your lunch hour? Plus, of an evening, telly is absolute rubbish.
Do you think other people feel this way? Probably. Have you seen Come Dine With Me?
I mean about men’s grooming products... Sorry. Yes I do. My clients were telling me how boring everything is out there. Getting yourself ready for work, or to go out, it should be inspiring not functional. It should give a you boost, set you up for the day (or the night) dancing shoes, splash of cologne, bit of Natty in the hair...BOOM! Let’s go!
So is Mr Natty here to save the day? Yes. He is. We bloody well are, with traditional British men’s hair care products we will liberate the men of the world from their inert grooming state! Rise comrades!
We? Does someone help you with this project? Indeed. Another Matt. He’s in the Natty shed now, mixing soap.
Another Matt? Mr. Brooke. He’s called Matt too. Though his mother calls him Matthew. They all do. Mums.
What is his role? Chief Photocopier! Ha! No, we’re a team. We just bounce ideas off each other. We share a vision for Natty Enterprises. He’s a creative director and photographer, so all this branding and nice typography and pictures – he’s the chap for that. We work together all the time, shooting young fellows looking splendid for magazines and clients around the world. He’s been in the game for nearly 20 years. Savile Row, man and boy, blah blah. He understands how a man should be presented.
Like yourself? That’s very kind of you. Yes, like myself. I do try. Sometimes it goes wrong – I went out looking like Casey Jones the other week, dungarees, baker’s cap – but you’ve got to try and be individual. Actually, someone said I looked like Super Mario that day, cheeky beggar...
I understand you have an incredible amount of experience across many aspects of hairdressing? That’s very true. I am a classically trained barber. A master barber, in fact. I’ve worked in Royal Court barbers in St James, I’ve worked on catwalk shows around the world for major fashion houses and for countless clients (both editorial and commercial), I’ve owned a salon. These days I do Pop-Up shops. So I’m still out there, I’m in the trenches. It’s the best way to find out what men want from their products.
What do they want? I think that however they wear their hair, or work their look, they all want authenticity and something traditional. By traditional I don’t mean dull. I think what we do with Natty is use those timeless, classic elements of men’s grooming and bring a certain freshness, an originality and some humour to our product. We like to make chaps smile and we like to make them feel important.
Ok. Last question... Surely you’ve cut some famous gentlemen’s hair? Of course. Royalty, rock stars and ruffians. The lot.
Names! I want names... Oh shut up. You sound like my mum. Actually, my mum’s not bothered. She used to shout upstairs to me, “Matthew! Some fella on the phone, says you promised him a haircut when he got to London. Says he’s called Dee Dee. Dee Dee Ramone. You heard of him? He’s at Heathrow”. I’ve plenty of stories, but this site needs filling up for the next few years and besides, we’ve got to speak to the lawyers first. Cheerio! Remember, if you’re not Natty... you’re not Natty.
AT ALL OF THESE
111a Commercial St E1
23 Beak St W1
Essex Rd N1
39 Monmouth St WC2
THE CONRAN SHOP
Michelin House, 81 Fulham Road
THE CURIOUS COMB
111 Humber Road SE3
WARD & CROSS
6 Rectory Land, Ashtead,
Surrey KT21 2BB
OLIVE CLOTHING & APPAREL
45 St Nicholas St,
Ipswich IP1 1TW
THE ART OF
138 Ludlow St
Lower East Side
85 N 3rd St
THE CONRAN SHOP
117 Rue du Bac, Paris 75007
Binnen Oranjestraat 24, Amsterdam